One-on-one Inner Child Coaching Sessions
Something is “Wrong with Me”
When we are children, those that are in charge of our upbringing form our internal views of ourselves. If we are loved unconditionally we will feel that we are enough. If we are treated with love and respect, we will feel that we are worthy of it throughout life and cultivate those types of relationships. If we are criticized constantly we will do the same with ourselves and others. If we are physically or emotionally abused, we will seek out the same throughout our lives. It makes sense, doesn’t it? It’s what we know and recognize as familiar. The problem is that this is a dysfunctional way to live life. Far from satisfying us, it moves us further and further from our essence which knows what is best for us. Many of us tend to ignore or minimize the emotional wounds inflicted on us at an early age, though more often than not the psychological disorders we’ve developed as grown-ups are largely related to our childhood. Depression, low self-esteem, codependent relationships, addiction, indecision, fear; there’s an ongoing list of consequential symptoms that grow along with us as we age. We feel that there is something “wrong with us.” Though we are functional, we continue to play the roles that we developed in our infancy and act from a place of hurt. Working with the Inner Child offers an effective method to re-parent ourselves, to stop toxic programming and get over the devastating consequences of trauma.
Diagnosed with depression at age 19, I was told I was born with a chemical imbalance and that I would need to take pills for the rest of my life. Not until I stopped taking them, however, did my healing begin. In the search to find what the pills had been concealing, I fell into a deep depression and went through many years of feeling a victim, resentful, frustrated and unhappy. It is through working with my Inner Child that I finally emerged from this cycle of negativity and hopelessness.
A Rescue Voyage
The vast majority of us grew up in environments in which we were victims of victims. Co-dependent relationships were established and as children, we were called on to fill inappropriate roles. One doesn’t have to be sexually or physically assaulted to experience abuse. We need to delve deep in order to understand the depth and seriousness of the damage we were subjected to. Not out of self-pity or to place blame on others, but to validate our lived experience rather than minimize it and to be able to look into the eyes of that scared defenseless child and rescue him/her. To take him out of a toxic environment where he still dwells and embraces him with the unconditional love needed to lead a rich full life in which being our true selves is sufficient.
Inner Child Work
It consists of reconciling the various Inner Children with the Grownup Self through a series of guided meditation and introspective work to provide a foundation of love and support. You will learn to communicate to your Inner Children and meet their needs in appropriate ways in a process of restoring a balance of roles in where the adult self, assumes the responsibility of his/her life. The client is all the time aware of what is going on. I am there as a guide yet the client’s adult self is the one who does the work. In most cases, a few sessions are enough for the clients to feel that they are holding the steering of their life. You are most welcome to my practice for an in-person session or we can schedule a Skype or Zoom consultation. I speak English, Dutch and Spanish.
“Risa is amazing, inspiring and connected women who is sharing her medicine of dance and playfulness with the world. Thank you so much for supporting my transformation ✨🙏✨ such a blessing and honour to meet you on this Sacred Path of Life.“ – Vera Anja
“I appreciate Risa Luna for two reasons. She listens and strengthens your courage. When I told her my childhood story, she reflected and provided me with resources on what I needed to be healed and what I needed to flourish: a self-love journey through time. She knows that the healing process is difficult but not unattainable for anyone. In this way, she strengthens your internal courage to know that self -healing and self-love are possible.” – Lauren
“Risa proposes simple and deep exercises and knows how to create a nice, safe space where you can be honest and true to yourself. And make the most out of a group experience. I recommend her work, either for those who take their first steps in self-reconciliation or for the ones that have been doing inner work for a few years.” – Marco
“Last weekend I went to the workshop ‘Inner child’ from Risa. A beautiful and deep inner journey where Risa guided us to connect with our inner child in our own authentic way. Risa is a beautiful, shiny, enthusiastic, warm and pure person. You feel in everything that she loves what she is doing. It really comes from her heart. I felt safe to be fully me and let go of everything that came up. Risa was there to support and hold space for me, which even motivated me more to go deeper. I’m really grateful for this beautiful experience! Thank you so much!” – Marlon
“”Thank you so much for such a rewarding workshop ❤🙏 I am grateful to how you hold the space with love and safety, allowing me to break down the walls and guide me to a place of higher consciousness through a powerful connection with the child within, enabling deep healing, inner peace and playfulness 💃🌈 thank you!” – Martin
“That workshop ( Dancing with my Inner Child ) was truly an eye-opener. There is a whole world beyond everyday consciousness that is run by those parts of ourselves that are in the shadow… this work is a great way to transform the ones that don’t serve you. As well as bringing your strengths back to the light. Reconnecting with the child I have been (the younger versions of myself ) and to then take this child by the hand was very emotional for me.
Thanks to the workshop I could uncover some forgotten dreams and be guided into growing a more loving and healthy version of myself. Thank you Risa!”– Mirjam
Risa does an amazing job reconnecting us with our inner child. Thank you very much for your work and sharing your knowledge. Reconnecting with ourselves by seeing and feeling like children is extremely healing. I highly reccomend practicing this dinamic… The result is wonderful. Infinite thanks. – Fiorella.
“Dancing with my Inner Child workshop was amazing! Risa was a great teacher and guide to connecting with my inner child, what a lovely, warm woman. The connection I made and the techniques I learned are very valuable to me! Much thanks for sharing your wisdom and creating such a safe and loving space!” – Nina
“I really enjoyed the Dancing with my Inner Child workshop with Risa. Risa has a soothing, reassuring voice that lends well to guided meditations and helps to bring you to a deep state of relaxation. The space was light and airy, the rest of the group friendly and Risa created a beautiful safe atmosphere whereby the participants felt at ease to explore the inner child work. Risa clearly laid out the steps needed to continue the work on your own, which if you keep up definitely delivers results. Highly recommended!” – Daisy
“A peaceful and non-judgemental space to make a connection to our inner beings and discover a sense of self. Excellent workshop and a great way to spend time on ourselves.” – E. Clarke
“I followed an Inner Child workshop with Risa last year in November. I had just lost my father. I was doubting my life choices and myself. I was in a very sad, confused, lost and in a negative space. I was doubting all I had done up to that moment. I realized that there was a deep seated something that needed attention. That something was my lonely and unsure inner children. With Risa, I was able to very easily connect to a younger version of myself that was lonely and needing love and attention. We did this with attention, invitation and writing. The simple rituals and activities we lovingly did together gave me so much insight into my repressed and ignored needs. I have been able to continue with this work with the tools and guidance I received from Risa. This has been a journey of discovery; finding pain and voices that have long been neglected. The connection and lightness coming with this work feel amazing. I am thankful for the tools, guidance and inspiration I received from Risa and wholeheartedly recommend doing Inner Child work with her.” – Lisa Ann
“A healing and mind-blowing experience. To meet the little child I was; to see her when she was a few months old; to caress her; to know how she felt and how the environment she was born in was wonderful! You need to live the experience in its totality and surrender with all your heart so this beautiful girl can live inside yourself peacefully. I love you Luisita, you are the most beautiful girl who has ever existed and you are unique.” – Luisa
“I always thought that I did not have many emotional issues to work through. I was taught that to feel down sometimes was part of life, that everybody had a bad day. And it might be so, but what happens when that bad day repeats itself over and over, and you start sharing with your friends and tell them how you feel and you hear: “Take it easy”; “it will be over”; “you are courageous”; “it is part of being human”. I lived this way for a long time, always focused on how to look nicer, not for me, but for others, forgotten of my emotional side, thinking that I just had another bad day. Until one day I had my first panic attack. Life stopped me so that I had to look inside. I thought panic attacks happened to another kind of people. I asked myself: “Why me if my parents gave me everything?” “I’ve got everything.” “Why me?” I could not sleep that night. Days later I met Risa. I cannot express how grateful I am. My life changed completely. I learned to love myself, to respect and value myself and to be free. The best thing that life has given to me is my family but unfortunately, my upbringing was not the best you can ask for. My parents were victims of other victims. They hurt me seriously when I was little. Now I understand where my fears come from, my insecurities and sadness. I learned all these thanks to Risa and the Healing the Inner Child training. Now I can say that I am responsible and more conscious of my emotions. It has been hard to reach the point where I am but now when a bad day arises, I am positive that I can deal with it.” – María José
“After meeting my inner child, miracles started to happen like finding and even receiving my ‘dream garden’ house that was exactly like the one my inner child enjoyed playing in. Inner child work is essential powerful medicine and Risa has the sensitivity and the skills to do this very well, as you can feel when a guide has been and is committed to/ doing her own inner work, which I find much more important than any other credentials.” – Sayenn
“I took part in this workshop to explore my inner child. I had heard of the concept of the inner child before, and it made me curious. Over the weeks, following the program, I’ve definitely felt a change, a shift in behavior. Risa has not only been able to introduce me to my inner child, she has also brought us together. I’ve become more conscious of my needs and emotions, and I’ve become a more loving and self-assured person. I’ve never felt so empowered.” – Tijmen
Practices for Reparenting the Inner Child
Tools that help my clients change their relationship with the most influential person in their lives: themselves.
Try what resonates with you and remember to:
• Not berate yourself for forgetting sometimes to do your practice or not getting immediate results.
• Instill being kind, patient and compassionate to and with yourself no matter what is happening in your life.
• Imagine how you will feel when your negative programming is gone.
Greeting your Inner Child first thing in the morning
Make communicating with your child part of your morning ritual. Greet your Inner Child and ask their age. Ask them if they need something that day. We always take the first thought as a response. Remember to say a few loving words to them each time.
Written dialogue with your Inner Child
We practice the written dialogue using our dominant hand to ask questions and our non-dominant hand for answers from your inner child. We let the non-dominant hand write without interfering or questioning the validity of the exercise. We have trust that this will work.
Special Corner for your Inner Child
Have their photos at hand. Look at them often. Make a little spot in your house where you can look at them. Send them love.
Give yourself compliments
Focus on what you do right and praise yourself for simple tasks. We all need validation and admiration. Create the pattern of cheering yourself for cooking, making your bed or the dishes, remembering your sister birthday or recycling. And of course for bigger accomplishments as well! Be generous with yourself. Well done! Great job! You rock! I am proud of you! where your focus goes energy flows.
Start a Gratitude Journal
When we are not in a good space, we tend to focus on what we lack and overlook what we already have and are being blessed with. Making a little list every day of 5-10 things we are grateful for is a good way of gaining perspective and changing our vibration while at the same time sowing seeds for more blessings to come.
Choose a song that makes you feel like dancing. Choose one affirmation from the list below or make up your own. Invite your inner child to dance with you. Be sometimes your child and sometimes the adult. Let this truth come in and fill your whole body. If you use Spotify, create your own list of happy uplifting/danceable songs. Listen to it often. You can also use a frenzied song to release heavy emotions. This is my favorite: Yemen Blues by Jat Mahibathi
And for affirming any of the truths below: Follow the Sun by Xavier Rudd
I am important.
I deserve respect.
I am loved.
I am safe.
I am perfect exactly as I am.
I deserve to be loved unconditionally.
I love myself just the way I am.
It’s okay to say no.
I allow myself to shine my light.
It is safe to shine my light.
I am fully supported by the universe.
I am valuable.
I am lovable.
I am more than enough.
I approve of myself.
It is safe to be me.
It is safe to be happy.
I am unique.
I love myself unconditionally.
I feel at home in my body.
It is my birthright to be happy.
I am sacred.
My body is sacred.
I am powerful beyond measure.
I am pure love.
I am a miracle of the universe.
I have got this song tip from a client and it is great fun. Make sure you have some space to dance before you click PLAY 🙂 Can t Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake
Doing fun activities and buying toys
Doing things you used to love as a kid nurtures the forgotten Inner Child(ren). Buying a real present that our inner child asked for when possible, is a great way to nurture them and to recover a sense of playfulness we all need.
Our inner child can manifest in moments when we feel tired or sad, scared, guilty, etc. In those moments we can talk to them in a loving way, offering reassurance, support and understanding. NEVER judge them or minimize their (YOUR) feelings. We will train ourselves to recognize their presence; we can connect with them when we have fun, are surrounded by beauty or feel grateful. Like any other child, they appreciate the time we dedicate to them. Remember to tell them that you love them! Write any insights, dreams, memories, strong feelings that might come during this process. If for any reason it is not possible to dedicate 5 to 10 minutes to our Inner Child in the morning, we can do it later in the day or at night. Consistency is key.
Meditation is a great way to start the day and connect with your Healthy Adult/Higher Self and with your Inner Child. But if you rather want to just relax and lay down scanning your body, that is fine too! You can find guided meditations of one minute on the web. No matter how small the step, if you make it part of your day, it will bring consciousness and calm to your life. Do not miss the opportunity to grow and feel expansive connecting with your true self by meditation!
Healing Affirmations Meditation
This meditation is designed to be used as a tool for healing the child that you have been and still lives in your subconscious mind. Make sure you will be not interrupted for the length of this practice (9 minutes). If some emotions or resistance arise while meditating, just notice them. I encourage you to do this meditation daily for ten days or longer and see what impact this practice has on your life.
Home Coming by John Bradshaw
Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw
Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Healing the Inner Child Within by Charles Whitfield
How to Love Yourself When You Don’t Know How by Jacqui Bishop and Mary Grunte.